SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

After 22 years of marriage, my wife decided it was ok to "love two people" and vigorously pursue a long distance relationship with a colleague. She continued this for 8 years before I accidentally found out. They'd meet 3-5 times each year and also had monthly sex calls according to the wife.

I discovered her actions 22 years ago and I'm still needing some advice. I've done a lot of talking about this with her, have read more books than I care to recall and have listened to many different therapists about what happened and what to do.

I welcome any comments from anyone who has been through this, has seen counselors perhaps and what has worked for you. We are still together, mainly for the kids and family's sake. We've only spoken with doctors and some therapists.

Thanks for anything that you might have to offer.

Will you say more about the timing?

You seem to say your W started cheating after 22 years of M and that you discovered it after 8 years, so that means you discovered it after 30 years of M. You also say 'her actions 22 years ago'. Are yiu saying you got married in 1974, your W conducted an A from 1996-2004, and you discovered her A in 2004?

What did your W do after you discovered it? Did she do anything to change from cheater to good partner?

What did you do? You refer to therapists. Individual, mariiage counseling, individual counseling, sex counsleing - what kind of therapists?

What changes did you and/or your W change as a result of the therapy?

SI responses to a JFO (just found out) sitch is pretty cut and dried, because pretty much everybody is drowning. After 22 years, the BS's situation can be extremely varied, and the responses from Si need more info than in a JFO sitch.