Lory404 ( new member #87056) posted at 5:05 PM on Wednesday, February 18th, 2026
Your kids aren’t choosing him over you, they’re protecting their own relationship with their dad. At 19 and 22 they see him as their father, not as your husband, and those are two different roles in their minds even if he failed badly in one of them. Trying to make sense of that through the lens of the marriage pain just keeps reopening the wound. What helped me was separating the two stories. The marriage ended because of what he did to me. Their relationship with him is about their history with him as a parent. You don’t have to like it or approve, just stop measuring it as a betrayal of you. The anger fades faster once you stop expecting them to carry it with you.
