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Married to a pediatrician for 16 years. No children because he wouldn’t go to fertility clinic that’s close to my office and only willing to go to the one next to his office. Knowing how many times the wife needs to go for appointments I gave up, because otherwise it means I have to quit my job. We both work in the healthcare industry and help each other out with our career. I could feel his heart wondering away this year. A woman’s sixth sense won’t lie. It’s my 50th birthday this year. No gifts no surprise trips nothing. He didn’t even bother to checkout the Christmas gift I bought for him.

Yesterday he said he has a workshop in the evening which gives him CME points. I checked his location later and found him at capital grill. I used to work a block from capital grill and go there for lunch all the time and never heard them hosting workshops. And CME workshops are announced on website publicly months in advance but I couldn’t find any for yesterday. So I called the restaurant asking them if there is a Private event and of course the answer is no. Around 10pm he sent a message to me saying he is on his way home. I saw his message which he booked the dinner reservation and asked the girl out and said he was nervous because he hasn’t been on the market for 16 years now. I sent a blunt message: how was your date? I didn’t sleep last night at all and felt like a zombie all day today. He already got a lawyer and I need to find one quickly. The only comfort I have is that I do not have any children with this guy who may end up resemble him.

Welcome to SI, the best club nobody wants to join. At the top of the forum, there are some pinned posts we encourage new members to read. The Tactical Primer is a good place to start. There are some other great posts that aren't pinned that you can find by their bull's eye icons. The Healing Library is at the top of the site.

His A (affair) is 100% on him. Nothing you did or didn't do, said or didn't say, caused him to cheat. He cheated because he wanted to.

If you can, IC (individual counseling) with a betrayal trauma specialist can be helpful. If you have trouble with depression or sleeping, ask your doctor for some meds. If you think there's any possibility that he was physical with somebody, please get tested for STDs. Practice self-care and focus on your healing.

You're right, they do try to publish and broadcast CME events pretty well.

So sorry you're here.

I am so sorry. Isn't that rich, a doctor who works with children all day long yet who all these years of your marriage refused to see if his lack of offspring possibly was due to him, but who now thinks perhaps it's time to give up on what you two have so he can "sow some wild oats?"

Maybe this isn't his first rodeo, I'm thinking...but in any case, it hits you at a terrible time, and the only blessing for you is that you did NOT bear this man any children. Was he ever married before?

Please keep posting, this is terrible timing on so many levels. 50 is a milestone of maturity, and no matter what happens with him YOU have a LOT of living in front of you. I'm almost 75. Hang in there!

I’m so sorry for you. We all understand your pain and devastation.

To be rather blunt, your H is a coward. The fact that he has an attorney so quickly means this is planned. He’d rather run away and D then sit and have an open honest discussion.

He’s been checked out for awhile. I’m certain it was just a meter of time before it came to this.

It’s terrible to feel as though you are being discarded so easily. That has to hurt the most.