After 10 years of marriage 2nd for me, 3rd for him) at the age of 65, I've been cheated on and am now divorced. I threw him out, filed for divorce and it all concluded in 2 months. Dissolution being 12/5/25.He cheated on me with the woman he dared/lived with before we met, and who I've come to find out, he cheated on his former wife with. He and this woman caused the collapse of his marriage leaving his then wife with 3 children. The youngest needing corrective surgeries for a rare eye malady. This is just now all coming to light. The kids are now all grown, shocked he is back with her and in their eyes, doing this (cheating) all over again to their mother, and now o me who they condider their stepmom. I am friendly with their mom and only now have I found out her (& his) whole story. He has now moved in with his paramour, claiming he is renting a room. He continues to assist with the rent and bills at our rental where I remain until July 2026 (lease). He agreed to 5 years of support as well. He loves being the charismatic,jokester who everyone loves. The somewhat shy drummer in Beatles and other tribute bands with a FT day job. He has scared his 3 kids, and niw my 2 who accepted him as a father figure (my 1st husband, their dad, died in 2019). Thankfully, all the kids are actually not children anymore. I am devastated, angry, confused, humiliated, and ashamed. Some of his bandmates and their wives were/are aware of his infidelity, both prior to me and again, now. I'm on therapy, reading/listening to all the books, joining the forums, and basically a mess. Not to mention that I am scared to death, due to being retired now and on a fixed income. He said he cheated because, like his last wife/marriage, bills & expenses were piling up, responsibilities were piling up, things were changing with the kids, we were drifting apart, and tge last straw (his words( was a puppy we got. He said that was really hard on him vrcause the pup messed up his sleep. Therefore, he needed something just for him. He admitted never breaking free from her, reaching out from time to time and then amping up the frequency in the last year and a half. His kids hate this woman and asked him to break all contact when we were marrying. He promused them & me, said he did, but of course, he lied. He lied to me, them, his own mom, everyone. He says there was no sex (yet) that it was just getting together, going to her gigs (singer) or her to his. We have not had sex since Oct. 2024. What was sexual before, and during tries afterward that date, was foreplay with zero follow through. He'd never get near ejaculation. Erectile dysfunction and/or ability to maintain, being the issue. The photos, videos, his ahem, word, imdicates them hanging out & talking in the car, at restaurants, ALZ events and meetings (both gaving list Dads to the disease), and her house. I found tons of pics, videos, and phone records dating back 5 years. All the photos and videos are mostly him taping her walking from behind. All are in public. Her walking or posing in various outfits (no nudes). Or videos pics he took under the table up close to her boots, minis, thighs, and very nearby crotch. Sometomes with his other hand, his left hand with his wedding ring, not holding the phone/camera pointing to or touching a knee/boot/thigh. Her body language sometimes shows that she is willing to the touch [or filming], and plays to his obsession. At other times she pushes his hand away, for instance. Her clothes of choice are micro minis (at 58 yrs old) and boots. She is never in public without her costumes/orchestrated outfits. He has a boot fetish, admits it, and she is well aware. He also refers to her as his obsession. What many do not know about his boot fetish, is that he likes wearing boots in bed (no biggie)... womens boots. I found dozens of pairs of womens boots in his size. He sees zero problems with himself, exhibits remorse only as a facade, plastering on a hang dog expression when picking up items he still has in our garage. He lies, gaslights, blameshifts, and manipulates in all the familiar ways. His life is going on and everyone loves him. He has just traded one woman and one house for another (he lives in the same town). He has a history, as I now know, of going from woman to woman, job to job. He is never [lives] alone, never stopping. Going from day job to gigs, to rehearsals, juggling several bands, his kids, his mom... Stopping means thinking, reflecting. So he goes on seemingly happy. I am in a living hell with an uncertain future, at an advanced age, and he is just hunky dory.
